Be Ruthless With Hurry

In 2013 I attended a small spiritual formation conference in Santa Barbara California.  At that gathering of about 300 I heard John Ortberg repeat a story he had written about his book; The Life You’ve Always Wanted.

Not long after moving to Chicago, I called a wise friend to ask for some spiritual direction. I described the pace at which things tend to move in my current setting. I told him about the rhythms of our family life and about the present condition of my heart, as best I could discern it. What did I need to do, I asked him, to be spiritually healthy?

Long pause.

“You must ruthlessly eliminate hurry from your life,” he said at last.  Another long pause.

“OK, I’ve written that one down,” I told him, a little impatiently. “That’s a good one. Now what else is there?” I had many things to do, and this was a long distance conversation, so I was anxious to cram as many units of spiritual wisdom into the least amount of time possible.

Another long pause.

“There is nothing else,” he said. “You must ruthlessly eliminate hurry from your life.”

By the way, as the story was being retold, I learned that Dallas Willard, who also spoke at that Santa Barbara gathering, was the “wise friend” who had advised Ortberg to be “ruthless” with any hurry he found in his life.  Willard died a little more than 2 months later at the age of 78.

  • Why do older men and women consistently tell younger men and women to slow down?  What do they want to pass on?
  • Why do we all need to be connected to wise, loving mentors?
  • What had Dallas Willard observed during his time of life and ministry that led him to give such a stern warning?
  • What is the difference between being extremely busy and being hurried?
  • What is there about hurry that deserves an immediate and “ruthless” response?

101 Spiritual Formation Books for Becky

A dear friend asked me to suggest some Spiritual Formation reading material — good options to use during our “Shelter in Place” indoor time.  I happen to know that she is well on her way through the first entry.

Celebration of Discipline: The Path to Spiritual Growth,
Richard J. Foster
Amazon Link

Sanctuary of the Soul: Journey into Meditative Prayer,
Richard J. Foster
Amazon Link

 Prayers from the Heart, Richard J. Foster
Amazon Link

Prayer: Finding the Heart’s True Home, Richard J. Foster
Amazon Link

The Kingdom Life:
A Practical Theology of Discipleship and Spiritual Formation
,
Dallas Willard, Keith Meyer, Bruce McNicol & others
Amazon Link

Revolution of Character:
Discovering Christ’s Pattern for Spiritual Transformation
,
Dallas Willard & Donald Simpson
Amazon Link

The Spirit of the Disciplines:
Understanding How God Changes Lives
,
Dallas Willard
Amazon Link

Hearing God: Developing a Conversational Relationship with God,
Dallas Willard
Amazon Link

Renovation of the Heart: Putting On the Character of Christ,
Dallas Willard
Amazon Link

Renovation of the Church:
What Happens When a Seeker Church
Discovers Spiritual
Formation,
Kent Carlson & Mike Lueken
Amazon Link

 The Pursuit of God, A. W. Tozer
Amazon Link

The Life You’ve Always Wanted:
Spiritual Disciplines for Ordinary People
,
John Ortberg
Amazon Link

Spiritual Disciplines Handbook: Practices That Transform Us,
Adele Ahlberg Calhoun
Amazon Link

Invitation to a Journey: A Road Map for Spiritual Formation,
M. Robert Mulholland Jr.
Amazon Link

Sacred Rhythms: Arranging Our Lives for Spiritual Transformation, Ruth Haley Barton
Amazon Link

Invitation to Solitude and Silence:
Experiencing God’s Transforming Presence
,
Ruth Haley Barton
Amazon Link

Crafting a Rule of Life: An Invitation to the Well-Ordered Way,
Stephen A. Macchia
Amazon Link

The Way of the Heart:
The Spirituality of the Desert Fathers and Mothers
,
Henri J. M. Nouwen
Amazon Link

The Wounded Healer: Ministry in Contemporary Society Paperback,
Henri J. M. Nouwen
Amazon Link

Bread for the Journey: A Daybook of Wisdom and Faith,
Henri J. M. Nouwen (Year-Long Anthology)
Amazon Link

With Open Hands, Henri J. M. Nouwen
Amazon Link

Seeds of Hope: A Henri Nouwen Reader,
Henri Nouwen & Robert Durback
Amazon Link

A Long Obedience in the Same Direction:
Discipleship in an Instant Society
,
Eugene H. Peterson
Amazon Link

Eat This Book: A Conversation in the Art of Spiritual Reading,
Eugene H. Peterson
Amazon Link

The Cost of Discipleship, Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Amazon Link

Life Together: The Classic Exploration of Christian in Community,
Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Amazon Link

A Year with Dietrich Bonhoeffer:
Daily Meditations from His Letters, Writings, and Sermons
,
Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Amazon Link

Ordering Your Private World, Gordon MacDonald
Amazon Link

A Praying Life: Connecting with God in a Distracting World,
Paul E. Miller
Amazon Link

Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life,
Donald S. Whitney
Amazon Link

Knowing God, J. I. Packer
Amazon Link

Rediscovering Holiness: Know The Fullness Of Life With God,
J. I. Packer
Amazon Link

Praying: Finding Our Way Through Duty to Delight,
J. I. Packer & Carolyn Nystrom
Amazon Link

Mere Christianity, C. S. Lewis
Amazon Link

The Screwtape Letters, C. S. Lewis
Amazon Link

A Year with C. S. Lewis: Daily Readings from His Classic Works,
C. S. Lewis
Amazon Link

The Good and Beautiful God:
Falling in Love with the God Jesus Knows
,
James Bryan Smith
Amazon Link

The Good and Beautiful Life: Putting on the Character of Christ,
James Bryan Smith
Amazon Link

The Good and Beautiful Community:
Following the Spirit, Extending Grace, Demonstrating Love
,
James Bryan Smith
Amazon Link

Wasting Time With God :
A Christian Spirituality of Friendship With God
,
Klaus Issler
Amazon Link

Rhythms of the Inner Life: Yearning for Closeness With God,
Howard R. Macy
Amazon Link

Contemplative Bible Reading:
Experiencing God Through Scripture
,
Richard Peace
Amazon Link

Meditative Prayer: Entering God’s Presence,
Richard Peace
Amazon Link

Spiritual Journaling: Recording Your Journey Toward God,
Richard Peace
Amazon Link

Spiritual Formation as if the Church Mattered,
James C. Wilhoit
Amazon Link

Foundations of Spiritual Formation:
A Community Approach to Becoming Like Christ
,
Paul Pettit
Amazon Link

With Christ in the School of Prayer, Andrew Murray
Amazon Link

Spiritual Disciplines Companion:
Bible Studies and Practices to Transform Your Soul
,
Jan Johnson
Amazon Link

Enjoying the Presence of God:
Discovering Intimacy with God in the Daily Rhythms of Life
,
Jan Johnson
Amazon Link

 Pray Always: What the New Testament Teaches about Prayer,
Anthony Lee Ash
Amazon Link

Healing Grace: Finding a Freedom from the Performance Trap,
David A. Seamands
Amazon Link

Between Heaven and Earth:
Prayers and Reflections That Celebrate an Intimate God
,
Ken Gire
Amazon Link

The Reflective Life:
Becoming More Spiritually Sensitive
to the Everyday Moments of Life
,
Ken Gire
Amazon Link

My Utmost for His Highest, Oswald Chambers
Amazon Link

My Daily Journey With My Utmost for His Highest,
Carolyn Reeves
Amazon Link

Sabbath: Finding Rest, Renewal, and Delight in Our Busy Lives,
Wayne Muller
Amazon Link

Keeping the Sabbath Wholly:
Ceasing, Resting, Embracing, Feasting
,
Marva J. Dawn
Amazon Link

A Center of Quiet: Hearing God When Life Is Noisy,
David Runcorn
Amazon Link

Meeting God in Silence, Sara Park McLaughlin
Amazon Link

Nurturing Silence in a Noisy Heart, Wayne Edward Oates
Amazon Link

An Honest Cry:
Sermons from the Psalms in Honor of Prentice A. Meador Jr
.,
Bob Chisholm & Dave Bland editors
Amazon Link

Centering Prayer: Renewing an Ancient Christian Prayer Form,
Basil Pennington
Amazon Link

Clinging: The Experience of Prayer,
Emilie Griffin
Amazon Link

Living Prayer, Anthony Bloom
Amazon Link

Beginning to Pray, Anthony Bloom
Amazon Link

Wishful Thinking: A Seeker’s ABC, Frederick Buechner
Amazon Link

The Hungering Dark, Frederick Buechner
Amazon Link

Living in the Presence:
Spiritual Exercises to Open Our Lives to the Awareness of God
,
Tilden H. Edwards
Amazon Link

The Meaning of Prayer, Harry Emerson Fosdick
Amazon Link

Pathways of Spiritual Living, Susan Muto
Amazon Link

Journal Keeping: Writing for Spiritual Growth,
Luann Budd
Amazon Link

The Attentive Life: Discerning God’s Presence in All Things,
Leighton Ford
Amazon Link

Feeding Your Soul: A Quiet Time Handbook,
Jean Fleming
Amazon Link

God Isn’t in a Hurry: Learning to Slow Down and Live,
Warren W. Wiersbe
Amazon Link

Pilgrim Heart: The Way of Jesus in Everyday Life,
Darryl Tippens
Amazon Link

Sacred Waiting:
Waiting On God In A World That Waits For Nothing
,
David Timms
Amazon Link

Spiritual Simplicity:
Simplify Your Life and Enrich Your Soul
,
David Yount
Amazon Link

An Unhurried Life:
Following Jesus’ Rhythms of Work and Rest
,
Alan Fadling
Amazon Link

Christian Spiritual Formation:
An Integrated Approach for Personal and Relational
Wholeness,
Diane J. Chandler
Amazon Link

Awakening the Quieter Virtues, Gregory Spencer
Amazon Link

Contemporaries Meet the Classics On Prayer,
Leonard Allen
Amazon Link

A Diary of Private Prayer, John Baillie
Amazon Link

Discipleship Essentials:
A Guide to Building Your Life in Christ
,
Greg Ogden
Amazon Link

God Seekers:
Twenty Centuries of Christian Spiritualities
,
Richard H. Schmidt
Amazon Link

The Jesus Creed: Loving God, Loving Others,
Scot McKnight
Amazon Link

Longing for Enough in a Culture of More,
Paul L. Escamilla
Amazon Link

The Narrated Bible in Chronological Order (NIV),
F. LaGard Smith
Amazon Link

Orthodoxy, G.K. Chesterton
Amazon Link

Turning Your Heart Toward God:
A 12-Week Exploration of the Spiritual Disciplines
,
Sue Kline & Paul Thigpen
Amazon Link

Wisdom Distilled from the Daily:
Living the Rule of St. Benedict Today
,
Joan Chittister
Amazon Link

An Autobiography Of Prayer, Albert Edward Day
Amazon Link

Deepening Your Conversation With God, Ben Patterson
Amazon Link

Experiencing God:
Knowing and Doing the Will of God
,
Henry Blackaby & Richard Blackaby & Claude King
Amazon Link

Face to Face:
Praying the Scriptures for Intimate Worship
— Volume 1,
Kenneth D. Boa
Amazon Link

Face to Face:
Praying the Scriptures for Spiritual Growth
— Volume 2,
Kenneth D. Boa
Amazon Link

Finding Our Way Again:
The Return of the Ancient Practices
,
Brian D. McLaren
Amazon Link

In Silence: Why We Pray, Donald Spoto
Amazon Link

Listening For God:
A Minister’s Journey Through Silence And Doubt
,
Renita J. Weems
Amazon Link

Prayer: Does It Make Any Difference?
Philip Yancey
Amazon Link

The Prayers of Jesus, Joachim Jeremias
Amazon Link

Prayers Plainly Spoken, Stanley Hauerwas
Amazon Link

Communion

Some time ago I read the story of the Lewis and Clark Expedition.  The author, commissioned by the National Geographic Society, used the journals of Lewis and Clark as a guide.  He simply repeated the trip, following their footsteps, up the same rivers and over the same mountains.  The most fascinating part of the whole story for me was that Lewis and Clark, and several others who traveled with them, kept highly detailed journals of their trip.  For them, crossing the continent was important, but remembering the crossing was crucial. 

Remembering has always been important to God’s people.  Crossing the Red Sea or the Jordan River was half the story.  Remembering what God did there was the rest of the story.

We can hear it in Joshua’s words … (4:4-7, 22-24)

So Joshua called together the twelve men he had appointed from the Israelites, one from each tribe, and said to them, “Go over before the ark of the Lord your God into the middle of the Jordan.  Each of you is to take up a stone on his shoulder, according to the number of the tribes of the Israelites, to serve as a sign among you.  In the future, when your children ask you, ‘What do these stones mean?’ tell them that the flow of the Jordan was cut off before the ark of the covenant of the Lord.  When it crossed the Jordan, the waters of the Jordan were cut off.  These stones are to be a memorial to the people of Israel forever.”  … tell them, ‘Israel crossed the Jordan on dry ground.’  For the Lord your God dried up the Jordan before you until you had crossed over. The Lord your God did to the Jordan what he had done to the Red Sea when he dried it up before us until we had crossed over.  He did this so that all the peoples of the earth might know that the hand of the Lord is powerful and so that you might always fear the Lord your God.”

Did you notice who the stones were for?

1st – (v. 6)  For the Twelve Men who carried the stones.  Joshua says the stones will “serve as a sign among you.”

2nd – (v. 6) For the Children.  Joshua says, “In the future, when your children ask you, what do these stones mean? Tell them”

3rd – (v. 7) For the People. Joshua says, “These stones are to be a memorial to the people of Israel forever.”

4th – (v. 24) For Everyone — Can see the circle widening?  Joshua explains, “He did this so that all the peoples of the earth might know that the hand the Lord is powerful.”

Four groups.  Four messages.  This pile of stones rehearses the story for all these groups of people.

In the same way, our Red Sea, our Jordan River, our baptism is half the story.  Remembering what God did there is the rest of the story. 

Communion is our pile of stones.
It’s where we rehearse the story.
It’s why we do it every week.

Prayer of Thanksgiving

Dear Lord — When my choice is between complaint or gratitude, feeling entitled or feeling thankful, help me to remember that all that I have and all that I am is a gift from you.  Remind me that living in resentment not only hurts me, but also everyone I love. 

God, I want my life to run on the inexhaustible fuel of thanksgiving. 

I am forever grateful
that you have been faithful
to me — Lord,
for your Amazing Grace.

In His Name, Amen,

 

3 Filters When Talking

joshua-ness--bEZ_OfWu3Y-unsplash

Not long ago I ran across 3 questions offered as “Speaking Filters.”  As I thought about the value of using them it became very clear that they would require that I use the “slow down and think before you talk” discipline as well.  And that discipline, on its own merit, is also a great speaking filter.

Here are 3 questions to ask yourself before you speak to someone:

  • Does this need to be said?
  • Does this need to be said by me?
  • Does this need to be said by me … now?

With enough practice, it will only take a few seconds to go through these questions.  It is even easier if you are in a group, where speaking time is shared … and it may be more important to use these filters in that setting.  Some people speak too quickly.  They might be hurt or angry, or they may simply talk too much and the words just come out … with few or no filters.

So think through these Speaking Filters for a minute.

Does this need to be said?  Sometimes what is going through my mind needs to stay there … in my mind.  Bringing it out, saying it out loud might just add fuel to a fire that is already burning out of control.  Besides, I may not be bringing anything new to the conversation.   Like the definition of “nagging” I heard as a young man.  An elderly and very godly woman put it this way — “nagging is reminding someone of something they have not forgotten.”  So — Does this need to be said?  Perhaps not.

Does this need to be said by me?  Perhaps it does need to said … but by someone else.  By a neutral party, someone calmer, someone who will not take a side, someone with nothing to gain or lose.  Whoever does the talking, it might be that I should be out of the picture.  Me, my baggage and my preconceptions might should be somewhere else.

Does this need to be said by me … now?  It could be that another time would work better for everyone involved.  Cool down.  Clear the mind.  Take a deep breath.  Count to 10 … or count to several days.  However we understand it, now might not be a good time to talk.  So wait.

Of course, there may be occasions when the answer to all 3 questions is “Yes — this needs to be said … by me … now.”  Navigating these 3 filters might bring me to this conclusion even when what needs to be said will not be comfortable to say or hear.  These are the moments in which I will most need both the heart and the words of Jesus.

3 filters when talking …

These questions can help me to speak with confidence or to remain silent with compassionate control.  Both can be successful outcomes.