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Do You Have a Plan? (part 1)

I recently returned from leading a Spiritual Formation Conference with a wonderful group of 19 ministers from all around Ghana, West Africa.

My good friend Fred Asare hosted the conference at the Village of Hope. It was a time of quiet reading, careful reflection and thoughtful discussion over a period of several days.  Some of the men I already knew, but the openness and honesty of the whole group made this time one of the high points of my summer.

Early during our first day together I asked a question that I have often asked at Spiritual Formation retreats and seminars over the years.  I had first heard this question at a small men’s breakfast when I lived in Kansas City. One of the brothers in our congregation gave a short devotional to a group of about 15-20 men on a Saturday morning, and he included this question. It so impacted me that I wrote it down and have shared it countless times over the years.

Experience 2

In it’s original form, the question goes like this:

What is the difference between a man with 10 years of experience and a man with 1 year of experience 10 times?

Of course, it can be restated and applied in a number of ways:

What is the difference between a Christian with 10 years of experience … ?

What is the difference between a Minister with 10 years of experience … ?

What is the difference between a Leader with 10 years of experience … ?

Every time I ask some version of this question the group I am with usually does the same kind of soul searching, and the group of ministers in Ghana followed the same pattern.  As they thought through the “minister” version of the question, they realized that both ministers in this scenario had put in the same amount of time, and probably had gone through the same kind of experiences each year of the ten years.  But the first minister found depth and growth from year to year while the second minister never moved and never changed.  When I asked them “why” they realized that the first minister had a vision for each year’s growth.  He followed some kind of plan and grew each year.  The second minister had no vision and no plan.  And so, he simply repeated his first year over and over.

This question set the stage for rest of our time as together we began with a vision from Jesus and then crafted a plan for personal growth.

It was clear to me that my brothers in Ghana do not want their inner life to simply remain static from year to year.  They want movement, growth and change.

Stay tuned for part 2.

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What’s in Your Small Group Toolbox?

Sg Seminar logo 2009I am excited that Buddy Bell from Montgomery, Alabama will be in Dallas for a tightly packed few hours of small group learning and discovery. He comes specially equipped to help anyone wanting to grow and improve their small group skills. Whether you’re new to small-groups, a committed group member, or a seasoned group leader, you’ll leave this seminar with new inspiration and tools.

In 2001 Buddy founded Share Him Ministries which has helped literally hundred’s of churches around the country set up successful small group programs.  Playing the dual role of preaching and small group minister at his own church has given him a unique viewpoint to see how small groups can be tightly integrated into the ministry of a local church.

After the seminar your small group toolbox will be filled with:

  • Leadership Tools: What is the best preparation for leading a group? How can a leader find and train new leaders?
  • Curriculum Tools: How can we build the discussion on God’s Word?  What are some good curriculum ideas?
  • Relationship Tools: How can we make the atmosphere open, honest, encouraging and non-judgmental?
  • Involvement Tools: How can group members can find their place and purpose in the group? What are some positive options for children?
  • Discussion Tools: How can the leader create great questions, anticipate answers and affirm participation?
  • Expansion Tools: How can the group evaluate its size and plan for the future?

The seminar is free.  There will be free childcare. We are guarding your valuable weekend time with a 3-hour morning session on Saturday, November 14.

I hope anyone in the Dallas area with join us from 9:00 to Noon (Registration is at 8:30 unless you register online) http://tinyurl.com/yfb6heo

Prestoncrest Church of Christ
6022 Prestoncrest Lane
Dallas TX 75230
972-233-2392

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Test or Discussion?

test_sheetImagine a small group leader asking a group for their opinions.   Imagine the people giving their various answers.  And then, imagine the group leader reacting to their opinions by saying, “No … that’s not what I’m looking for … any other thoughts?” How many “other thoughts” do you think would be offered?  Not many.

In case you are wondering, I didn’t make up this scenario.  I actually saw a discussion leader ask a question, receive an answer and then say, “No … that’s not what I’m looking for.” He continued to give this response to several answers, and I watched the group become quieter and quieter.  In fact, after a while, only those with the courage to guess what he was “looking for” continued to respond until, finally, we all stopped, because it was clear to us that these were not really discussion questions.  They were test questions.

In a small group, turning our discussion questions into test questions usually shuts down participation.  Tests put people on the defensive.  They are afraid they might give the “wrong” answer and look foolish.  And so, they become silent.

How different is a relaxed, open environment, where people feel free to explore, to think out loud, to share their opinions, doubts and even their confusion.  This kind of atmosphere encourages people to consider new ideas, to examine their own lives, and even consider changes in their life-style.

And so, in addition to the factual questions from the biblical text, be sure to also ask the group members a completely different kind of question:

What do you think? (Only they know their thoughts)
How does this make you feel? (Only they know their emotions)
What would you do? (And you must really want to know)
With which part of the story do you identify?
What do you think this story teaches?

In all of these questions, you are asking for something you genuinely did not know before the group session began. And you ask these questions, not to pass or fail a “student,” but to hear and understand the thoughts, insights, and emotions of your fellow group members.